My emotions from cancer.

I mentioned in a earlier blog, that from the very first second that you are diagnosed with cancer the roller coaster ride begins. Forget the 'Big One', this is the 'Emotion Coaster' !.

        The 'Emotion Coaster' has much higher drops, twist and turns.

I will mention some of the emotions that my cancer diagnosis brought me.

Fear, fear caused me more upset than any emotion. Fear also taught me my biggest lesson and prepared me for anything that life might throw my way that i am not expecting.
People that read my tweets on Twitter will often read a tweet by myself that reads.
Never fear the unknown because more often than not the unknown is nothing to fear.
So the fear comes from the unknown, please read my blog.....'I hear voices'....this explains that all my fear of the unknown was unjust !!!!
And it actually annoys me that i spent so much time fearing the unknown.

Panic, i suppose that panic is the same as fear. Please try not to panic it affects the way that you see things, you will think up situations and see them all wrong, in a negative way.

Denial, i tried everything to deny that i had cancer, telling myself that a mistake had been made.That medical records had been mixed up, there was no way i had cancer i was far to fit. Believe me denial is a massive part of being diagnosed with cancer.

Shame, i felt so ashamed of myself. I felt dirty, and i have mentioned before i felt that i was going to be responsible for passing my cancer on to somebody, even frightened to kiss loved ones, terrified i would give them my cancer.

Humour, yes believe it or not humour. The reason i resorted to humour was possibly to raise my own spirits but most definitely to lift other peoples spirits, people who i could see were uneasy with the knowledge that i had cancer. My belief was that they would be more comfortable and they would see me as strong and not see a person who was actually falling apart.

Positivity, my greatest emotion due to the fact that i discovered it myself. Out of all my negativity came positivity, which will be with me for the rest of my life. And because i discovered positivity from one of the lowest points in my life, i feel as if that gives me the advantage to pass my positive thoughts onto other people, people who may have been recently diagnosed with cancer themselves.

There are so many emotions you experience on the 'Emotion Coaster'....

Shame, bad luck, humour, panic, fear, anger, denial, frustration......the list continues !!!

Always remember.....Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

o
 Some photographs to promote positive thought.
Scar pictures taken three weeks apart.

Photographs of myself, the first eight weeks ago, and the second taken today.