I hear voices, one voice is talking to me "Gary can you hear me, Gary can you hear me?" i mumble something, i am aware that there are people around, i remember hearing my name. I can hear somebody telling me that i am going to be taken the High Dependancy unit now, The next thing i remember was the awareness that i am being moved, a can feel occassional flashes of cold air that must be when i'm passing the entrance/exit doors. I then remember...well the truth is i cannot remember things clearly apart from i can hear loved ones who later tell me that they could not believe i was having a conversation with them, they also tell me it is 11.00 pm when i arrive on High Dependancy, i arrived at hospital 11.30 am, a very very long day.
  Thirty days ago the operation to remove the cancer in my body, which had taken form as a tumour on my right kidney was over. I was in bed, unable to move, physically i was at the lowest point in my life but i was so relieved the operation was over at long last.
I had a line into my neck, lines into my right and left hands, a drainage tube from my kidney dealing with blood fluids etc, i had a catheter into my bladder, a epidural in my upper back,pumps attached on my legs. I was frightened unable to move and then to make matters worse i got pneumonia, my blood pressure dropped and the epidural had to be shut down, no pain relief so much fun !!! later i was given a PCA pump, i think that is the correct name which is pain relief you control yourself.
  You really do not feel like it at the time...but you know you are recovering. They tell you they are taking the drainage tube from your kidney, so much worry, Why ?...it does not hurt. They are removing the epidural...the tube from your back, so much worry why?..it does not hurt. They say they are removing the lines from your hand, removing the tube which is placed inside my penis, same again worry........really no need you do not feel it.
 Wow, i drink tea from a beaker it taste so good, i try food i'm very unsure so i try something light...so so good. The physiotherapist try moving me alittle to soon, my consultant later tells me, due to the amount of tissue i had cut from my body....boy don't i know it hahaha....but they soon have me taking my first steps, i'm in pain...but ive done it !!!.....this recovery list could go on and on, my point is this is me i am recovering i am learning that worrying is proving pointless, this is me the man who was in so much fear, month after month after month worrying about my operation, getting it my head the fear about having ribs removed, the thoughts in my head i was going to die !!!.........Remember maybe you can at a later date tou can relay this story onto a person who may be scared, frightened about going into hospital tell them that out of all my negativity i became positive.
I have now been home for 24 days, my blood thinning injections finnished, my scar is healing at a amazing rate, i am so lucky my parents have been looking after me they are amazing, i am walking futher every single day............if i can you can !!!!!!.
As you will know that once home, i found a friend in the form of Twitter, which then turned into hundreds of Twitter friends. You will read my ongoing never ending tweets regarding about always remaining positive and not fearing the unknown, i learned the hard way. My thinking was that if i walked away from a journey with cancer with no story to tell, and not being able to discuss it what was the point. To be honest i thought at first people would think who is this crazy mad man and then i got a message from a young lady that made it so worthwhile......................
   A message from a young lady, she told me that she had found a lump in her breast and the only reason she had plucked up the courage and told her Doctor, was because she had been reading my tweets about always remaining positive, she told me that she had decided to be brave like i now was. What a thing for somebody to tell you WOW!!!! i was so proud, and the best part was that that lump was nothing to worry about, i'm not special and don't want to come across like that...but if it turns out that it is only that one girl i helped well i find that amazing.
Things happen for a reason and i am not wasting that reason.............This is amazing somebody wrote to me......a person that i do not directly know wrote to me the biggest compliment i have ever been paid she wrote..............You are the epitamy of Positivity. I am full of admiration and proud from the tip of my toes to the pit of my stomach for you Gary. I am so pleased i have read your comments you are a brave,strong willed, lion hearted man, a force to be reckonrd with, and your positivity and determination are amazing.
That to a man who had been to the lowest point ever and turned himself around....Well tomorrow back to the hospital Wednesday 31st October, to find out a my biopsy results, and a few other things Wish me well Guys xxx



Below then and now pics, remember were talking weeks.

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