So many things had happened over the months leading up to operation day, Hospital visits etc. The one i remember oh so clearly !! was i had a appointment for a chest/lung function test. To be honest i thought this was a pre-op test. I was seen by a nurse who performed the lung function test, which was blowing into a tube in quick succession intervals, which left me coughing and spluttering but she said i had done OK. She told me to sit in the waiting area and i would be seen by the consultant. Ten minutes later i was called in. Something was not right i could sense it, he seemed to stare at me forever and then he asked me how i was. As he was talking to me i could see the screen on is computer showing different images.Then he told me that during my scan, various lumps had been detected mostly in and around my chest, and also i still had a lining attached to my lungs which should have dispersed when i was a child. Was this some kind of joke, why was i only hearing about this now !!! .....he told me there was nothing to worry about regarding the lining on my lung it was of no concern. Then he told me about the lumps he said one was 6cm in size.......my heart sank, i thought how long left two months three if I'm lucky i was devastated. He then asked me if i had seen a image of the tumour on my kidney, he asked if i wanted to see it. For some reason i said yes, he turned the monitor round. The only way i describe it was as if somebody had stook a tennis ball on to my kidney, he explained that because the tumour was perfectly round it was very positive regarding removal. He told me that round shaped tumours are safer to remove you can be more positive that the entire tumour has been removed.He then explained that the additional lumps he felt were no concern, and had advised future scans to be aware of change. Was he taking the piss out of me, was i expected to believe that, i mean a 6cm lump in my chest. I was positive he was just telling me this to so i would not loose my sanity there and then.He assured me that the lumps did not cause any concern.
I am sure you can imagine how i was after that, for awhile i refused to believe him. And believe me when you stop loosing belief your are in a terrible place.
Everything was happening, hospital appointments..etc, but believe me one thing i knew,,,was that my operation day was getting nearer.
Shortly before the operation, we took Stephen to Flamingo Land for a week, remember me telling you how i had told my consultant that my lad was not missing out on is holiday. I can honestly say we had a brilliant time, the weather was brilliant and just seeing the little fellow so happy, i can honestly say i put the hospital to the back of my mind.I never wanted that week to end but i knew it would, but the good thing was i felt so much better in myself. I was ready and i had been told to expect my operation date right after my holiday.
We arrived home nothing no appointment !!! over the next week or so i started to loose my sense of well being and the fear took over. Then it arrived ...i had my date, the day i had been fearing for so long .
Next chapter operation day, but something will cancel it, picture below might give that away.The two pictures below taken acouple of weeks apart can you believe that.
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