The living hell

Right, for the time being i have decided not to discuss my home life, all that i will tell you is that i am married and a have a son who is 9 years old, and if any of you guys  read my Twitter messages you will know that he is everything to me i adore my little lad so much that all the pain within my heart and soul as all been down to my worst case senario.....

   You see the next number of months that followed were Hell !!....Hell no...Hell is a complete understatement, i am not trying to fool you, lie to you, tell you oh well you just wait for your operation, no it does not work like that....it's your worst nightmare, you have just taken your seat on the rollercoaster only it's a million times worse than the Big one and you have a complete phobia of heights.The day i was told i had cancer, well that night i cried all night long whilst i looked at photographs mainly of my son. God !!! that night last forever, and i didn't get one seconds worth of sleep.I walked into work the next morning at 06.00 am, the good thing being at that time there was only minimal staff there. It was easy enough to hide away doing the job i was doing. As time went on more and more staff arrived and the more uneasy that became i felt the need to hide away, and i was becoming more shattered by the minuite.Oh no, a friend was approaching....."How did you get on at the Hospital Gary?" a blur i didn't answer for awhile then i said that i didn't want to talk about it. This upset my close friend, i had sounded bad mannered rude and we had always had a good relationship.She told my manager, she knew there was something wrong. My manager came to see me, i told her i'd see her when i was ready to........anyway i prepared myself, and walked in her office. "What's wrong Gaz?".........Silence, long silence..........." I have got cancer ", i could see her eyes watering...and to make matters worse our friend at work at only just lost his Wife to cancer.We talked, she told me to go and get rest, the rest of that morning was a real blur.....i managed to get to Dinner time then left, i was exhausted, i managed ahour or so before my Wife arrived home with our boy.

gg